Hi Steve-
I’m a 30 year-old female, and first of all, I’d like to say that I’m astounded by all of the women I talk to (and who write to you) complaining about how hard it is to hook up with excellent men. I’ve never had any trouble getting into relationships with men who are intelligent, creative, funny, sexy, and centered. Sometimes I think the main reason women “can’t find decent men” is because many of these women are smug, hyper-critical, have no sense of humor, and immediately distrust any guy who hits on them. I’ve been out with my female friends many times when they have been extremely rude to nice guys who approach them, and I can only laugh and tease them a bit about the contradiction between their complaints (”waa waa waa, all the men are scrubby losers”) and their disrespectful treatment of prospects.
Anyway, that’s all way off the point of the burning issue that I have.
Since you opened up the floodgates to talking more explicitly about sexual topics, I thought I would write with some questions about blow jobs. The first question is - why don’t people take blow jobs very seriously? I have girlfriends who say things like “we’re not sleeping together or going out- I just gave him a blow job.” Being a Democrat and a positive person, I’m willing to believe that Bill Clinton truly meant it when he said “I have not had sexual relations with that woman,” despite the fact that she was regularly hoovering him. I have a lot of male friends who think that blow jobs entail very little commitment, while, if they have sex, they are in commitment danger.
My point of view is the opposite. I think blow jobs are extremely intimate, and often more intimate than having intercourse. I have to trust a guy a lot, and know him well, to want to go there.
I also wonder how it is that guys seem to be under the impression that women should go gaga over taking their ejaculate in the mouth. Semen is something like snot in consistency, and tastes like sour salted eggplant most of the time. I think one of the more pervasive lies in sexual relationships between men and women is that women enjoy giving head. There are times when it can be very erotic, but I’ve deconstructed my own arousal around blow jobs and decided that what turns me on the most is that feeling of power over the guy. Power is arousing, in moderation, but for me, it doesn’t make up for the absolutely gross experience of having a guy ejaculate in my mouth. (I’m intentionally leaving out the use of condoms because I’m referring to sex between monogamous, tested partners.)
Sara

Indeed, it is annoying when women complain about the lack of men, then reject any guy who approaches them. On the other hand, it’s hard to get excited when you’re waiting for George Clooney, and you get hit on by Curious George. Still, women should give those monkeys a chance.
Every woman is unique, just like a snowflake. Some women love giving blow-jobs, some women hate giving blow-jobs, and some women love to get angry when anyone says that some women love giving blow-jobs. Many people have strong feelings about blow-jobs. Personally, I’m for them.
I think sexual intercourse is more intimate than oral sex. First, intercourse can make children. Second, intercourse mixes your molecules together. Third, we refer to intercourse as “making love,” yet refer to oral sex as “blow-jobs” (if we called oral sex “love-jobs,” I might reconsider my opinion).
Recently, I was ridiculed by a friend for suggesting that some women like giving blow-jobs. She said women lie about enjoying blow-jobs, and that men are too stupid to recognize those lies. I have two problems with that opinion - it portrays women as liars and men as idiots. No doubt, many of you are thinking, “but men are idiots,” or “women are liars.”
I assume many women lie about enjoying oral sex (and I further assume many men can’t recognize those lies). However, it seems myopic and grim to suggest that all women (or all men) are alike. If we can agree that each woman is unique, we can conclude that some women may actually enjoy giving head.
As for goo in the mouth, I’ve kissed girls after delivering a mouthful of jizz and ended up tasting my own love juice, and it didn’t seem that bad. Nonetheless, I don’t expect anyone to swallow anything they don’t like (including my opinion).